It's been hard lately. I can't focus on what's most important. I thought reading Jeremiah would encourage me to trust and follow God more confidently, but... yeah, not working. I'm just so short-sighted! I can't understand that life will end and that eternity will take place. I'm living in this world and all around me people are living to glorify themselves, seeking to fulfill their desires, their wants. And what sucks even more is that it really looks like they're happy and satisfied! Like they have no worries at all! But of course I know that's wrong... who in this world is really, deeply happy?
I'm struggling right now. I want to settle for nothing less than God Himself... but my mind won't let me. My mind keeps telling me I don't have to. It keeps telling me that I can have both! But I know I can't. And I know only the eternal and divine will truly satisfy. And I know, I know, I know.... but my heart doesn't understand.
I realized in today's QT that it is really only by God's grace I know Him. So many people are blind, but He's allowed me to taste and see. To taste Heaven and realize there's more... to be able to DESIRE more! We only crave what we've tasted... He gave me a taste of Heaven, and I want more. Nothing of this world will satisfy.
God I want more of You. I need more of You. I can't take it any more. I can't take this world anymore. It's poisoning me.....
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Sam, it is really interesting that we seem to be in the same place in our walk with God. I'll definitely be praying for you because I know all to well how torn and frustrated you feel right now.
When you get a chance, read Romans 7:13-25. It gave me hope because Paul totally gets the struggle we are going through, this war that is going on inside of us between the Spirit and the flesh.
Don't lose heart, Sam. God is faithful and He is going to finish the work He started in us. Let's just enjoy this ride, shall we?
Btw, have you heard the song "Where You Go I Go" by Kim Walker? Youtube it! That zeal for the Lord is there in the message because it is all about focusing solely on living and being in Christ.
Thanks for praying for me and my family. I know God is using these tough times in our lives to show us more of Himself and also to show us His love manifested in the family of Christ.
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