The only person I can talk to is God. And my one friend. But she's sleeping right now. So at the moment the only person I can talk to is God. I've disconnected myself from worldly things... and all that's left is... You.
Funny how when I honestly search the world for truth, I end up at Your door. If only others would honestly seek. Not honestly seek You, but just honestly seek the truth. They'd eventually end up where You are, things would click, and arrogance and pride... even confusion would shatter.
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Sam!
Haha I don't think anyone has found me out yet, but I am also thinking about starting a new blog. If I start it, I'll let you know, too :)
One big event has happened and it has totally thrown me off. You know how I was supposed to start at Saint Mary's? Well, I didn't. I wasn't able to take out a loan for the rest of the tuition not covered by fin aid. Yeah. That seemed a lot easier to type out than to actually go through. I've been really down about it and all these questions I have are killing me.
Mostly though, it has shaken my relationship with God. You see, I felt like I had really prayed about where God wanted me to go for school, etc. I felt like I had heard Him with Saint Mary's and that I was getting closer to Him and knowing His will for my life. But with this... I feel like I'm not even back to square one. I'm even further behind.
It's so disconcerting to have been so 'certain'... only to be wrong. So basically now it's a question of, "God, do I even KNOW you anymore?" And that has made me feel so alone. I know you won't think me cheesy for saying this, but God is really my best friend. I share everything with Him and growing in Him is just an amazing, beautiful experience. But with what is going on I felt like I've completely lost touch and I just don't know how to regain my footing.
So am I in need of prayer? I would definitely say so. I just want to get right with God again. I know I've been upset and doubtful of Him and I just want all of that to be swept out of my life. I want Him to help me pick myself up again and continue to trust Him and move forward.
If you would pray for me, that would ROCK :) Also, is there anything I can pray for you about?
- Iona C.
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